He was always on top, puffing on his cigar. Or I would suck him off, period, with no reciprocity. Hey, it was steady work and he paid well. I forgot to post this here, but I wrote a New Year’s Eve story based on this micro story and photo I posted on Twitter. I popped the bottle early, and sat sipping from a glass of half-decent champagne on the couch as my stepdad’s grandfather clock ticked away the last minutes of the year. I had the big show on the TV, but even if I wouldn’t be caught dead in Times Square, it just made me wish I were back home in New York as planned before my canceled flight. Holidays with the family weren’t so bad, and snowy Michigan was beautiful, but it would have been nice to start the new year with a raucous kiss instead of a quiet evening. Mom and John had gone to sleep a little after ten. Both my sister and John’s son, and their families, had dispersed in the days since Christmas, so it was just me left to celebrate alone in the big sleepy house. I shut my eyes and sank back into the deep sofa under a blanket, feeling the fizz of the wine on my tongue before letting it slide down and fuel the growing buzz in my head. It was a good way to dull the somber evening.Įven after two and a half years at NYU, I was still a lightweight when it came to alcohol, but tonight I didn’t mind at all. I glanced at my phone again, but my messages were still unanswered. Patrick and I weren’t dating exactly, but we were something. Something enough that we’d planned an evening together, one he was now undoubtedly having with someone else. I had no illusions about the romantic potential of a man who’d bang his own student during office hours, but he had a big dick and a thrilling wit. Even if he wasn’t likely to be my future husband, I could still dream.
The crowd’s excitement rose on TV, drawing my attention. I thought of tasting fine champagne on Patrick’s lips, of feeling his strong hands gripping me as the ball dropped, and my own hand idly wandered down to the growing bulge in my pajamas.
I startled to my feet and blushed when I saw my stepfather smirking back at me. Pick up lines, you have all heard of them, and you can bet your bottom dollar that you have used them at some point in your life.Just grabbing a glass of water,” He said, scratching at his bare hairy chest as he held up his empty glass. And yet, choosing what to say in which situation can be a challenge, even for the best of people. So here is a lowdown on some of the cheekiest, ‘dirtiest’ pick up lines that are on offer. If you are brave enough, why not use one yourself. Your friend wants you to choose the next woman that walks by at the bar and use his favourite pick up line. At the very least, you are going to get a reaction, but whether it is an ever-lasting impression that turns out to be favorable is anyone’s guess. Still… There is no harm in trying to evoke some laughter.
Hey I just realized this, but you look a lot like my next girlfriend I hope there’s a fireman around, cause you’re smokin’! You’re like milk, I just wanna make you part of my complete breakfastĭo you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?ĭo you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package I’ll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed You’re so hot you melt the plastic in my underwearĭo I know you from somewhere? Because I don’t recognize you with your clothes on Hey baby, you must be a light switch, coz every time I see you, you turn me on Your Daddy must have been a baker, cause you got the nicest set of buns I’ve ever seen Were you arrested earlier? It’s gotta be illegal to look that goodĭamn, if being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged Sit on my lap and tell me the first thing that pops upĭo you know karate because your body is kickin If you don’t want to have kids with me, then why don’t we just practiceĭo you know what would look good on you? Me Your body is a wonderland, and I want to be Alice Let’s go back to your place and spread the word If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head Hi, I’m an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus So here are a select few that are bound to make someone giggle.